Another Generic Title
by Thelostblacksister
Summary: In which Kurt talks in third person, Blaine is obsessed with Disney, and my god it's the worst smut you've ever read. Full on crack. Set at the beginning of season 3. Slash ahead, but come on, its Glee, do you even need the warning?05/02/14: Now edited!


Summary: In which Kurt talks in third person, Blaine is obsessed with Disney, and my god it's the worst smut you've ever read. Full on crack. Set at the beginning of season 3. Slash ahead, but come on, its Glee, do you even need the warning?

Xx ~RaNdOm LiNe BrEaKs~xX

Last time on Gle- wait, why am I even doing this, this is the first chapter. Even if it wasn't, there is no way the writers even remember what happened last week anyway.

~XxAnOtHeR RaNdOm LiNe BrEaK~

Kurt and Blaine were walking down the hallway hand in hand, never mind that the school is supposed to be filled with homophobic dick heads. Now that I think about it, shouldn't they be bullying Kurt more since he now has a boyfriend and is now acting on his gayness? Whatever.

"So Kurt," Blaine began, "do you want to go for coffee after school today?" Kurt looked back at him apprehensively."Don't we do that every day? Like, seriously, is that all we do? Go to the Lima bean and occasionally breadsticks? I don't even like Italian!" Blaine looked at him "I thought it was a burger place?" Now it was Kurt's turn to look at him. "What gave you that idea?" Kurt asked. "Well, I have read in multiple fanfics that it served burgers, so I kind of assumed it was." Blaine said. This would probably be a good time to mention Kurt's incredibly tight pants and the fact that Blaine's hair was completely covered in hair gel.

"Anyways," Blaine continued, "don't you think this is the perfect time for a Blaine solo!?"

"No Blaine"

"Awww"

~ XxMoRe LinE bReAksxX~

"Welcome to Glee club," Will Shuester said as he started writing on the board "Where everything's made up and the points don't matter!" He moved away from the board, which now said **whose line is it anyways?**

"Uhhh, Mr. Shue" Rachel began cautiously "Wrong show." He looked back at the board and quickly erased the words, replacing the words with **Disney. **"I don't think that's a good idea Mr. Shue," Rachel stated. "Disney is a pain to get rights to, so even though my voice would fit perfectly for the song "Let it go" from the new animation Frozen, we don't want to get sued." If you listen closely, you could hear Kurt mumble "over my dead body, that song is mine" of course, Kurt would never ever ever ever ever ever say something like that ever. It's probably you imagination."Oh come on Rachel," Blaine said, "I love Disney, and I think it could be fun!" Santana, who was busy filing her nails for some weird reason, looked up and turned towards Blaine "Don't you think that's breaking down the 4th wall a bit?" Santana asked. "I mean, just because Darren Criss is obsessed with Disney doesn't mean you have to be."

"I know, but it's not that bad," Blaine replied. "I mean, I could be singing Not Alone, which is obviously the only Darren Criss song I could ever sing." Mercedes, who was busy eating tater tots, interrupted Blaine before he could go into a rant about Not Alone being the only Darren Criss song fanfic writers use. "I know, but there isn't any Canon evidence to it."

"Well" Kurt started "The writers did blur the lines when they practically made Kurt a sai sword master, even though it's completely out of character for him. I mean, where did he even get them?"

"Why are you talking about yourself in third person?"

"I don't know"

"And why do we skip a line every sentence"

"I don't know"

"And who's even talking right now? Can't the stupid author tell us?"

"Well, we know it's not Tina, because she never even gets lines."

-Another Line break, boring addition-

That afternoon, Burt Hummel opened the door to one Blaine Anderson. "Hello sir, is Kurt home?" Burt smiled and let him in "He's upstairs in his room, and what have I told you about calling me sir, it's Burt, I've only ever told you this in every fan fiction ever." Blaine face blushed like a tomato, so, not at all, since tomatoes don't blush. "Sorry Burt, I'll make sure to forget by the next chapter though, so you can remind me again." All of a sudden, both men could hear footsteps moving quickly down the stairs. If you think Kurt wasn't hiding just above the staircase listening to their conversation, you'd be wrong.

"Hi Blaine, Kurt said brightly, giving him a tight hug. Blaine smiled at him. "Do you want to put a closing quotation mark on that?" he asked "I don't wanna" Kurt whined, crossing his arms over his chest." I mean, you would think that authors would notice it, but I guess I was wrong," Blaine mumbled. "Hey at least I put quotation marks in," Kurt sighed impatiently, "some people just don't bother, and it's a pain in the ass." Blaine grinned, "I can think of another pain in the ass" he smirked. "Ok," said Burt, who either didn't understand the obvious innuendo or just didn't care, because he's cool like that yo, "I'm going out to the shop, and Carol will be home in about 2 hours after her shift at the hospital ends." "Carol's a nurse," asked Blaine, "I didn't know that." "Well," Kurt said, who was now locking the door behind Burt, who had already mysteriously left, "It's never mentioned in Canon, but everyone on the fandom have excepted it as truth."

"Makes sense."

"Doesn't it?"

"Uhh, Kurt?"

"What?"

"We're doing it again."

"Damn it!"

~CAPP LOCK LINE BREAK AHHH~

"So Blaine," Kurt smirked, "We have the entire house to ourselves, even though Finn seems like the guy that would stay home and play COD all day and its improbable that my dad would leave me, a hormonal teenage boy, with his boyfriend, yet another hormonal teenage boy, completely alone in the house." Blaine smiled, shifting a bit on Kurt's bed "So Kurt, do you want to play a game?" Blaine wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, which Kurt didn't notice because Blaine's eyebrows are so huge that it barely looked like a twitch. "Monopoly or scrabble," Kurt asked, slowly getting from his position on the couch.

"Wait, why are you on the couch, there isn't couch in your room." Blaine said, looking around. "Blaine, we're in the living room." Kurt said, looking around as well. "Then why am I on your bed?" Blaine asked incredulously. "Because the author hasn't told us where we are." Kurt said , "Now, back to the game, we have Jenga!" Kurt exclaimed, looking through the drawer that magically appeared in the living room/bedroom/kitchen/whatever. "No, not that type of game, a _sexy game,_" Blaine smiled suggestively. "Sure, why not." Kurt said. "You-you want to?" Blaine stuttered, while Kurt shrugged. "Of course, I mean, everyone on this site thinks I'm some kinky sex machine that'll sleep with anything male that moves, let me get the lube and condoms that are in the magical drawer, for some weird reason. Don't ask me why I have them, or how I got them, it's not supposed to make sense anyway."

He grabbed the stuff and gently put it on the desk near his bed (the author has now decided this is in fact, Kurt's bedroom, ignore Blaine's scream of victory) and slid next to Blaine. Kurt slowly pressed his mouth to his, softly at first, but it then became more heated. Blaine slid his tongue in Kurt's mouth, their tongue battling for dominance in the most cheesiest and most used lines in fan fiction history ( and have fun guessing what position they're in, because I'm not about to tell you. ) Blaine slowly slid his hand up Kurt's shirt when suddenly-"Wait!" Kurt exclaimed, and Blaine retracted his hand quickly. "What's wrong Kurt." He asked softly, moving to Kurt's side. "I'm just, not comfortable doing this in front of an audience, can't we wait until a line break?" Blaine looked down. "Ok, I guess. Sad though, we know how much fanfic readers love their lemons."

"Blaine?"

"Yes, love?"

"No one calls smut lemons anymore."

~~ Sexy Line Break~~

"Wait, I have a question," Mercedes said, looking around to everyone in the Glee club. "When does this even take place? Before school, after school, at lunch, is it a class?" "I think it happens at lunch," said Sugar, who for some reason is there. "I don't think so," responded Rachel, "There is no way we get all of this done in one lunch period. Statistically, lunch at McKinley would last between 1 hour and an hour and a half. With all the dance numbers we do, we wouldn't be able to fit it all in. Besides, we never see each other with food in here. It probably takes place after school."

"But it's implied in multiple episode that it takes place during class hours, maybe it's during a free period?" added Rory, who was also there for some reason. "Maybe, but what high school has free periods? There's just Lunch." Retorted Joe, who was also there. "Yeah, but this is a tv show." Said Matt, who was also there for some strange reason."Why don't you just look at the time?" said one of the violin players.

"Who...who even are you?"

~~~ I Seriously don't even know what to put here anymore~~~

"Alright, this is Glee, so time for a Rachel Solo, Hit it!"

"I can't, since I have no fucking idea what to play."

~~~Seriously, what do I put here~~~

"Well, it's almost the end of the story, what should we do now?" asked Tina, who finally got a line. "I know, lets sing a random song that has nothing to do with this assignment!" Rachel exclaimed. "First I have to give you guys a random bullshit lesson that I literally just made up." Mr Shuester said. "But Mr. Shue, the original lesson was on DreamWorks, and we didn't even end up doing it." Rachel countered. "Wasn't the original assignment on Disney?" asked Tina, everyone pretended not to hear her.

"Ahh, but you see Rachel, even when things don't go as planned, it'll all work out in the end, and that is this week's lesson."

And everyone face palmed.

-LA FIN—

**So there you have it folks! Update 05/02/14: Now edited!**


End file.
